This weekend an old friend came to town from interstate. We lived together in a crusty old 1800s built house with 4 bedrooms, one living room converted into a bedroom by a curtain and just one bathroom which housed both the shower and the only toilet in the house. And we saw our fair share of nutty housemates. And we were our fair share of nutty housemates. But we had so much fun. And for my birthday one year Clare bought me my only fish I've ever owned on my own after I became mildly and embarrassingly obsessed with an iphone game about running a fish pet shop. I wish I remembered what that game was called, it was good times. Ok actually it was the most boring thing that ever was created but there's no accounting for accidental iphone app addictions. My fish, Jesse Custer was his name-oh, outlived all expectations and in some ways, his welcome, because he was a pain to move house with before we had a car and he died sometime in the hazy haze of newborn Violet induced emotional turbulence and sleep deprivation. He lived for years. He even lived through a holiday in which his babysitter, Clare's replacement housemate, thought that he was supposed to have half a handful of food pellets a day instead of just one. Boy, he was slow for a few days after that.
I can fairly and squarely divide my life into pre-baby and post-baby. This is the perils and the joys of having babies long before your friends are ready or even ready to be ready (ready, ready?). Post babies life has bought me some of the best friends I've ever known, mums from mum's group and the playground and the strange places you talk to strangers when it's ok to because your children are sharing a water bottle so it's kind of rude not to share a few words. In my pre-baby world things have not stopped turning, there's still all the people doing all the things. Going out for drinks on thursdays and fridays and saturdays. Eating most meals out because the bills to be paid are only being made by one, or maybe two. Starting over when relationships break up and getting to realise that the ones they're with might just be the ones forever and ever. It's an exciting, busy, adventurous and tumultuous world. I don't miss it, at all. What I do like though is that even though we're in different places, they can still stop in and spend a day in my world every few weeks and sometimes I can go out and spend a night in theirs. I like that a lot. It's like that old saying about new friends being silver and old ones being gold, except that as far as I can see old friends are gold and new friends are gold and pretty much anyone who has love in their heart for me and my children and my love are the goldiest of goldens.