Do you know what blows about having kids? Not very much, let me tell you. Ok, there are some things- sleep deprivation, tantrums, the inevitable hunger pains around lunch and dinner time when you realise you've been so busy nourishing your babies that you haven't eaten and won't get to until after you put them to bed (high five for muesli bars to get you through the hangry). But then the good things are just so damn good- the way a two year old can be screaming and screaming because you've said no to her 4th glass of milk in 10 minutes but the second you ask for a cuddle she'll stop screaming and jump on you giggling, or the way if you do lose your cool you're forgiven the very minute you take a breath and say you're sorry, snotty kisses that your two year old gives and then wipes the snot off your mouth for you and you realise she's being kind the way you're kind to her, sibling love, the way no matter how short or long a time you've been out of sight your kids are ecstatically happy to see you again, even if you've only left the room for two minutes to get a pair of socks. My favourite is the forgiveness, I think we could all learn a little something from little kids about this, me especially, Rob calls me The Grudge when I'm upset about something and need reminding to let it go.
But anyway, something that I can't even-stevens by weighing it against something that's better is eating out. I'm a city girl, I love to eat out. I'm a Melbourne girl, I love my coffee. For the little bits that you might take away and eat as you walk, this city is not great. Unless it is and I've been missing something for the last ten years, please, if this is true, edumacate me. But if I'm right, this city has amazing food, in cafes, where you must sit and eat up both food and atmosphere. Even if you're just a casual reader here you can probably deduce that my wild, rambunctious, full of character two year old rarely does sit down dining. I know, I know, just a phase, just an age. Totally. I get it. I'm not going to be walking past trendy cafes staring wistfully through the window at someone's avocado/feta smash with a side of awesome forever. That doesn't help me now though, helpful and reassuring little voice. The worst thing is, sometimes she's an angel. Not that she's bad when she won't sit and not bother people but you know what i mean. Unfortunately there are no predictors for which kiddo I'll get when dining out. 90% of the time it's the one that doesn't let me eat more than half of my meal before we have to leave but sometimes, just sometimes, she's totally into the whole experience. Usually when Daddy is around too. Maybe she can smell weakness when there's one gatekeeper to two little dragons and she quivers in fear at our awesome power when there are two of us. Maybe I should stop watching medieval drama on the teebee during nap time. Who knows the answer to these questions?
See that place up there? A place of my dreams. A place that should be included in the manual I wish was given to you upon birthing your little loves. A manual that in my opinion should be titled "Hey you! Now that you have given birth everything has changed and you need to know about these places in here because if you think you're going to any of the fancy schmancy places you used to go, think again- they don't have pram access and no childless grown ups like you anymore anyway". I like life handbooks that have titles that really explain what's going on in them. But Crafternoon has GOOD coffee, the kind I don't give internal Scrooge muttering-monologues about when paying for it, like at most 'child friendly' venues. And it has food I want to eat! And food I never knew I wanted to eat, like boiled eggs with avocado toast soldiers and no one judges you for eating food designed for a kid because IT'S AN ADULT SIZED PORTION ON THE ADULT MENU! Boom. And the kids menu isn't limited to chicken nuggets and chips. In fact, I don't think chips are even on the menu, it's just food I would actually want my kid to eat, on the kids menu not a small portion of this dish from the adult menu, please. What? I know. There are toys and a pile of books I was kind of intimidated by because when there are too many books in one place I get library anxiety in which I feel that everyone must lower their voices to a whisper. But craaaaffffftttttssssss, oh yes. Pay by the craft $5 for a tray of playdough shaped into dinosaurs and all you can grab playdough cutting/moulding toys? Ok! $7 for as much glue, glitter, feathers, stickable bits, paddle pop sticks, paper, crayons and a paper tiara that entertains your kid for 2 hours. Hello, marry me! Actually, Crafternoon Cafe, you had me at "bring your kids, have some glitter and we will clean it up".
Well anyway, we had the best time with our friends and little Poppy. Violet's "pincess" crown was her most loved item until she yanked it too hard onto her head and tore the paper. Darn you, paper crown.