What we wore {to a funeral}

January 07, 2012

l-r: rob's mum, violet, me, my mum, my dad.
rob, violet and I!
dress: Alpha60//shoes: Swear
jumpsuit: Peter Rabbit

These pictures were actually taken on the 29th of last month, I'm still behind (but catching up!). The title of this post is also misleading, we, as in, Violet and I, did not wear these clothes to a funeral. Well, I did but Violet didn't attend Dillon's funeral. She hung out with her Grandparents whilst wearing this trendy new jumpsuit, a gift from her Nan (Rob's mum).

Rob and I travelled out to Fawkner, to attend the funeral. I wrote a letter on the train, as we were allowed to place them in the casket before cremation. The funeral itself was perfect, Dillon was not religious so rather than a service his mum chose to play the album he had been listening to when he died (Family by Noah Gundersen) for the 45 minutes we all sat in the chapel together. There was an open casket for the first half an hour and we were encouraged to visit with him and place letters by his hands, then they closed the casket and we sat with him for another 15 minutes before they lowered it away. There were photos on a screen above and silence was actually what everyone seemed to need. I cried for 45 minutes straight and that seemed to be what I needed.

Afterwards his family held a memorial picnic in the botanical gardens, a little more lighthearted for some and a nice place to sit and stare and think for others. I had an opportunity to speak for quite a while with his mum about him and what happened. I don't really want to talk about that on the internet but I hope that I remember the conversation for as long as it feels important, maybe forever.

His mother and sister put together beautiful books full of real photos (not scanned and printed) of him from childhood and adulthood, it also included this quote:

"The world is like a ride at an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it, you think it's real, because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round and it has thrills and chills and it's very brightly colored and it's very loud. And it's fun, for a while.
Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question: 'Is this real? Or is this just a ride?' And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and they say 'Hey! Don't worry, don't be afraid -- ever -- because... this is just a ride.'"

After we left the memorial we met up with our families to take these photos. I wish we'd done it earlier but we didn't, so my eyes are puffy and funny looking from all that crying. I don't actually care about putting that on the internet but it's a shame that I look different to myself in our only extended family photos. Never mind.

It got cold as we were packing up but Rob took this happy snap and I quite like it.


  1. what a touching post. I am sorry to hear of your loss.. I know this feeling well. I lost someone very close to me about a year ago...it will be a year on tuesday. Healing thoughts coming your way! you have the most beautiful little family! Very stunning! I love your ink...my husband has full sleeves so I am always an admirer of good work! Love your blog!

  2. Hi! and thanks! Everything you said made my heart a little warmer and fuzzier, so thank you for that :)

  3. she is adorable!! my littlest got a jumpsuit similar for christmas!

    sending healing vibes your way x x

  4. I love that quote! Thank you for sharing it.

    And that last photo of you and Violet is stunning ... especially her blue eyes. Beautiful girls!

  5. thank you :), it's the cutest jumpsuit!

    and thank you very much for the vibes, it's working! xo

  6. it's lovely isn't it?

    thank you so much!


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